When a financial decision goes wrong in a marriage, the spouse responsible for making the decision can feel a sense of shame, guilt, or regret.
Only recently, a digital investment platform collapsed in Nigeria, making many investors to lose their money to a Ponzi scheme. Some of these victims were married couples who may have invested their life savings into this scheme, with or without the knowledge of their spouses.
However, the decision to act alone can be seen as dishonest and selfish, which can have a significant impact on their marriages and emotional stability.
This financial blunder can become shocking and distressing for a spouse who has been kept in the dark, and emotions can build up, leading to resentment and the possible breakdown of the marriage if not handled with wisdom and sensitivity.
Mistake is part of the marital experience
Some couples may find it difficult to return to normal after a financial loss. However, the real test is not the mistake your spouse made; it is how you both decide to deal with it together that makes the difference, because everyone will make a bad financial decision at some point in life.
If you have different risk appetites, your partner might see an opportunity to grow your savings and go ahead secretly, knowing that you are not likely to consent if informed.
Also, certain cultures or values encourage women to be financially savvy by putting some money aside as a form of a safety net, which can make some women vulnerable to trusting Ponzi schemes in secrecy.
Mistakes are inevitable in marriage and can also deepen your relationship when you remind each other that one bad choice does not have to define your marriage.
Supporting your spouse through this difficult time should not deter you from expressing your own feelings about his or her mistake, especially if the quality of life of your family has been impacted by the decision.
Expressing your feelings in a sensitive manner without aggression is also important in capturing your own voice. You are allowed to feel disappointed if trust has been broken in your marriage. But also remember that scams like Ponzi schemes prey on trust, and your spouse may be feeling disappointed and a deep sense of guilt. You may also want to speak to trusted friends or seek professional support if the situation feels too big or emotionally charged for you to handle alone.
Money stress is already one of the leading causes of tension in many marriages. When it occurs through a scam, couples often find themselves in a cycle of blame, which can lead to trauma, depression, and emotional isolation.
Every action is driven by a purpose, whether conscious or subconscious, and when you shy away from talking openly about your finances, it is possible for one partner to think that certain decisions are okay.
Financial loss, whether personal or joint, can be traumatising, causing sleepless nights, panic attacks, or a deep sense of hopelessness.
Your spouse needs your empathy and moral support to pull through, so that you can both commit to moving forward.
Credit:punch