How to balance emotional labour in your marriage|Elizerbeth Badejo
One common trait among many men is the difficulty in expressing their emotions, especially in cultures where male emotional expression is stigmatised, and vulnerability is perceived as a weakness. A boy who has been taught to suppress his feelings from childhood is likely to grow into an adult who not only struggles to articulate his own emotional experiences but may also become emotionally distant in his relationships. This can leave his partner bearing the emotional burden in their marriage.
Emotional labour can be physically and mentally draining, affecting your well-being and your ability to function as a stable parent when children are involved. It is crucial for every couple to balance the impact of emotional labour in their marriage through honest communication and shared responsibility to promote fairness, equity, and emotional stability.
Everyone relies on others for support and connection—after all, “no man is an island.” This makes communication an integral part of any healthy relationship, especially in marriage, where vows are made to love, care for, and support each other. Being vulnerable with one another is vital, as it allows each partner to express their feelings without fear of condemnation.
There is no better time to support each other’s well-being than the present, especially given the increasing uncertainties that bring stress and anxiety to many families. Learn to have honest conversations and take turns offering support. However, be vigilant in recognising when one partner needs extra attention and be willing to validate each other’s efforts.
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Managing emotional labour comes with different challenges and mixed emotions, depending on each person’s understanding and past experiences. Because emotional labour can be an exhausting burden, it is essential to prioritise self-care and to encourage and support each other’s personal well-being.
Share your feelings with trusted friends and experienced couples who have successfully navigated similar challenges. Do not hesitate to seek professional advice, such as couples counseling, to gain a better understanding of how to build a healthy emotional connection.
Every man has values to bring into his marriage. However, his ability to contribute can be overshadowed by a wife’s overbearing nature if she consistently takes on the larger share of emotional labour because she believes her husband is incapable of offering solutions. When emotional labour is imbalanced in a marriage, it can create a “superwoman mentality,” leading to burnout, resentment, and hostility. To prevent this, encourage emotional independence in your marriage.
Practise shared responsibility in the spirit of partnership. Work together, even if the solutions your husband offers seem insignificant. This will encourage him to build a stronger connection, especially if emotional engagement is currently lacking in your relationship. Divide emotional responsibilities according to individual capacity. If your husband’s primary way of offering support is by listening when you need to share your feelings, appreciate his presence and patience, even if he cannot provide an immediate solution.
By fostering honest communication, prioritising self-care, and encouraging shared responsibility, couples can build a balanced and emotionally fulfilling marriage.
Credit:Punch